If
by MyDarkAngel710
Summary: What if? is the question. This is going to be a collection of short stories about "what if"'s. Like, what if Reid had continued to take drugs? What if Hotch had gotten there in time to save Hailey? What if...?
1. Found

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: What do you want to eat?**

**Morgan: Italian kinda sounds good.**

**Garcia: I was thinking hamburgers.**

**JJ: What about Mexican?**

**Hotch: Could you guys just decide?**

**Rossi: Yeah, I'm starving!**

**Me: I was feeling like Chinese.**

**Reid: Chopsticks? Really?**

**I don't own Criminal Minds.**

* * *

_"Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry." ~Unknown_

* * *

If you saw him on the sidewalk, you would go out of your way to cross the street and avoid him. He was unrecognizable to all but what used to be his closest friends. These friends hadn't seen him in years, ever since he missed the plane.

* * *

Derek Morgan walked down the sidewalk of New York City. The BAU was there on a case, and Morgan was on his way to get some breakfast for the rest of the team. He was lost in thought when he ran into him.

"Ouch! Oh, I'm sorry, man," Morgan said as he turned to apologize to the stranger.

The man looked at him blankly. His eyes were dull behind his glasses. His hair was unkempt and the shadow of a beard covered his lower face. His clothes were ruffled and not the cleanest.

Morgan looked closer at the man who was mumbling some apology back. Morgan cocked his head to one side in puzzlement. "Kid?"

The man was already walking away. Morgan grabbed his arm. "Reid? Is that you?"

The man who vaguely resembled Spencer Reid looked at Morgan in confusion.

"Spence, it's me, Morgan."

A slight glimmer of recognition seemed to light Reid's eyes. "Morgan?"

"Yeah, Morgan. Where've you been, kid?"

The question only received another blank look as a response.

"How have you been? What have you been doing?"

Reid rubbed a hand through his long hair. "I've been… around…"

"How are you?" Morgan asked again.

"Fine…I'm great…"

"Do you need anything?"

"No!" Reid said firmly.

"Okay, okay." Morgan could sense he was loosing him. Reid was going to run at the first chance he got. _I'm not about to loose my friend again this fast._ "Hey, I was just about to go get some breakfast for the rest of the team. How about I buy you a coffee, just like old times?"

Reid hesitated, but he still couldn't resist the pull coffee had on him. "Okay. For old times sake."

* * *

Morgan joined Reid at the table in the coffee shop. He handed the kid his coffee and watched as Reid greedily drank from it.

"Just how I like it," Reid half smiled.

Morgan smiled warmly. "I can still remember from way back when."

Reid nodded absentmindedly as he stirred even more sugar into his cup. He was acting a little more like the Reid Morgan used to know with the coffee in his system, but he wasn't acting exactly right. Morgan waited for Reid to drink about half the cup before he asked the question on his mind.

"What happened to you, Reid?"

Reid stared out the window at the passing people. The sunlight hit his face at the perfect angle, showing Morgan the hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. Morgan wondered how the smartest guy he had ever known had sunk to this level.

"Reid?" Morgan pressed gently.

"I just didn't feel…useful anymore with the job I guess…"

"Reid, you know you were the best of us. You could have solved half the cases all on your own."

Reid shrugged but made no comment.

"Really, Reid. Why? Was it…" Morgan couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't want it to be true. He hoped that if he didn't say it, maybe it wouldn't be.

Reid tugged at his shirt sleeves, as if wishing to make them longer. Morgan didn't know if that was a confession or simply the haunting memory he was trying to forget.

Morgan dropped the subject and caught Reid up on what was going on with the team. He told him about JJ's baby and about how Morgan was the godfather. He told about Hotch's divorce. He told about Gideon quitting after Frank came back.

"He left you a letter."

Reid looked up sharply at this.

"None of us have read it. We've always carried it with us, in case we ever saw you."

Reid drained the rest of his coffee. "Thanks," he mumbled as he stood to leave.

Morgan stood. "Come back with me and I'll give it too you. You don't have to see anyone if you don't want to. Just come and get the letter. I promised myself that I would give it to you." _If I ever saw you again._

Reid hesitated. "No, I really shouldn't. I've got to go meet a friend."

Morgan saw straight through Reid's lie, but didn't call him on it. He simply nodded. He and Reid said their good-bye's and went their separate ways.

* * *

Four days later, Morgan and the rest of the team was back in Quantico. They were all leaving the office on their way to a celebratory dinner. They had successfully caught the killer in New York and had a free night. They were all laughing, enjoying one of the few moments in between cases that they were able to totally relax.

The figure standing near Morgan's car immediately killed the laughter and put them all on edge. None of them said anything, but all of them were ready for anything. The lean man jumped when he saw the group of profilers. He stood up from his leaning position while attempting to straighten his clothes and hair simultaneously.

Morgan recognized the man. He waved the team back as he approached Reid. Reid had shaved and trimmed his hair a bit. His clothes were neater and he didn't look as sickly as he had only days earlier. The old smile Reid used to always give materialized as Morgan approached and Morgan knew that the old Reid was back.

"Hi, Morgan."

"Hey, Reid."

"You said you had a letter for me?"

Morgan smiled.

"I sure do, kid, I sure do."

* * *

**Hi guys!**

**If you're a returning fan, sorry I haven't written in a while. School got kind of crazy.**

**This story has been building in my head for a while. I got to thinking what if Reid had decided to disappear after missing the plane in New Orleans.**

**I thought it was a neat idea, so I ran with it.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Reid and Review!!!**

**~MyDarkAngel710**


	2. So Close

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Nymphadora-CullenBAU: How about Greek food? Gyros… yum yum! Or PIZZA!!!!**

**Me: Ooo! Pizza! Have you guys ever tried Pizza King?**

**Morgan: No… What's that?**

**Me: ONLY THE BEST PIZZA IN TOWN!!! How about it?**

**Reid: Well-**

**Me: And by 'how about it' I mean WE ARE EATING THERE!!!**

**(I proceed to drag everyone to the car by force)**

**I don't own Criminal Minds… or Pizza King : (**

* * *

"_Death, after all, is the common expectation form birth. Neither heroes nor cowards can escape it." ~ Ellis Peters_

* * *

"Promise me, that you'll tell him how we met."

Hotch was running through the yards of old neighbors as he raced to his old house. He listened to haley, tears streaming down his face. He tore around another corner, the house in sight.

"And how you used to make me laugh."

Hotch made his way around the house. He wanted to run. He wanted to get there as quickly as possible. He knew he had to take his time. If Foyet knew he was there, he wouldn't wait. He would kill haley.

"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious Aaron!"

He was so close.

"Haley-"

Hotch pressed the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he raised his gun.

"I want him to believe in love because it is the most important thing…"

Hotch was at the window. Foyet and Haley were standing facing inside. Foyet had the gun near the back of Haley's head.

"Promise me!"

Hotch aimed.

"I promise."

The gunshots echoed deafeningly though the phone.

* * *

The team listened in on this entire conversation from their phones. It was silence as they held their breath, begging for Haley to say something. Anyone to say something.

There was the sound of clinking glass. A footstep. A sob.

* * *

The team found Hotch upstairs. He sat with Haley and Jack in his old study.

"Thank you for working the case," Hotch said to Jack.

Haley smiled at Hotch through her tears. She hugged Jack, who sat on her lap.

Foyet had been shot three times in the back. The entire window had been blown out.

Somewhere in the neighborhood, children could be heard laughing.

* * *

"Aaron."

Hotch paused and turned back.

Haley and Jack sat in the conference room at Quantico. _They're safe, _Hotch thought yet again_._

"Aaron, I want to try again." Haley wasn't looking at him. She was watching Jack play with some action figures. "For Jack. And for me."

Hotch stared at her. He wasn't sure if it was just the shock of the events of the day, or if she really meant it. He had wanted to have a second chance at their marriage. Here it was, but was it real?

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, I think so." A ghost of a smile played on Haley's lips. "Just promise that you'll make me laugh more."

Hotch smiled sadly as he turned to leave, but stopped and came back.

Work could wait.

* * *

**It's short, I know, but I like it so... yeah....**

**I hope you guys like it, too. I felt like short and sweet today. Next up will be about Morgan... or Reid... I have it in for Reid (see my other story, Copycat) so a short where Reid dies or something is definitely coming up. Just FWI.**

**Anyway...**

**RIED AND REVIEW!!! I LOVE COMMENTS!!! :D :D :D :D**

**~MyDarkAngel710**


	3. Thank You

**Disclaimer at End**

* * *

Why was it that the one who had found the cure wasn't being helped by it?

Morgan stared at the floor, his head in his hands. _Why him? Why not me?_

If Morgan had gone first, it would have been _him_ in the room. _He_ would have been exposed.

"Agent Morgan?" Dr. Kimora came out to the waiting room.

Morgan stood to meet her.

She hesitated. "I don't think he has much time. Have you called the team."

Morgan nodded, still in shock. "How-" His voice cracked. "How bad is he?"

"He can't speak, but he's conscious if you want to see him." She shook her head. "I-I don't know why it isn't helping. He had a cut, and he was in the room for so long… but I still don't understand…"

"It's okay." _No it's not._ "You've done everything you could." Morgan turned to go down the hall.

"Morgan, I haven't said anything to him. I'm sure he knows, but still…" She shook her head. "It's your decision."

Morgan nodded and walked down the hall to the room. He forced a smile before he walked in.

"Hey, kid."

Reid looked at him with pale, sickly eyes. He tried to smile, but he had to turn his head with a cough. The simple motion seemed to wear him out.

"You're lookin' pretty good." Morgan could feel his smile falter.

Reid gave him a knowing look and managed a small snort.

Morgan swallowed and took a seat in a nearby chair.

The silence stretched.

"So, uh," Morgan swallowed. "Everyone's on their way over to see you."

Reid managed one of his sad smiles.

_He knows._

"Reid-" Morgan broke off. What could he say?

Reid patted the bed, getting Morgan's attention. He mimed writing on the bedspread.

Morgan scrambled around the room to find a pen and a pad of paper. He placed the pen in Reid's hand and the pad within easy reach.

Reid began writing. It seemed that every letter took everything he had, but he persisted.

He knew his time was limited.

Reid stopped to take a rest.

Morgan knew it was now or never.

"Re-… Spencer, I-… You've bee- You _are_ the best friend I could ever hope for." _Man, I suck at this._

Reid smiled sadly and continued to write.

Morgan opened his mouth to try again, but a phone call cut him off. "Morgan," he answered.

"How's he doing?" Hotch asked.

"Fine, fine…"

"We're on our way."

"We're waiting."

"Five minutes." Hotch hesitated. "We'll make it, right?"

Morgan didn't want to lie.

But he didn't want to tell the truth.

"Just hang on." Hotch wasn't talking to Morgan.

Morgan hung up the phone and turned back to Reid.

"They're on their way. Almost here."

Reid nodded, his eyes different.

Suddenly, Reid went into a violent coughing fit. Blood appeared on Reid's lips as his skinny form jerked.

Morgan moved to call a nurse, but Reid caught his hand in a surprisingly strong grip. Morgan stopped in mid-step.

Reid closed his eyes and his brow furrowed in concentration. He swallowed.

"Mo- Morgan." Reid somehow managed to speak. "Thigball-" Reid frowned in frustration and he took a few deep breathes. He tried again. "Th-Thank you."

Morgan felt the tears at his eyes. "No, thank you, kid."

Morgan wet a hand towel in the bathroom and brought it over to Reid. With a shaking hand, he wiped the sweat from Reid's forehead and the blood from around his mouth.

Reid didn't move. Writing and speaking a few words had sapped all of his strength. He couldn't even open his eyes. His breathing was ragged and his heart monitor was sporadic.

Morgan didn't call a nurse, he knew there was no point.

* * *

Hotch, Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi stood in the doorway.

Morgan sat in the chair besides Reid's bed, his head in his hands. He didn't move, even though he knew the team was there.

Reid lay like he was sleeping in the bed. The oxygen and IV tubes had been removed. The monitors had been shut off.

Morgan finally stood up. The team came in and stood around the bed.

No one made a sound. Tears shone on every face.

JJ moved her hand as if to touch Reid's hand, but stopped and withdrew it.

Morgan picked up a piece of paper that was lying on the bed next to a pen. He opened it and read silently to himself. He took a shuddering breath and laid it were everyone could see it.

Reid's simple handwriting was shaky. His awkwardness felt even through the writing. But the message was clear.

"_You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm going to really miss you._

_I want you to know that I would do it all again just to know you._

_Thank you."_

* * *

**(Awkward Silence)**

**Me: So…**

**Morgan: Really?**

**Me: Well, you told me not to write the other sto-**

**Morgan: REALLY!**

**Reid: I thought you liked me!**

**Me: Well, you know, I do, but this is a "what if" story so it didn't really happen…**

**Morgan: Do me a favor and write the other story… and don't kill anyone off!**

**Me: Rrriigghhtt… Don't kill anyone off…**

* * *

**So, I started writing on my other story. **_**Superheroes**_**, but I watched "Amplification" yesterday and it was stuck in my head. This is what came of it. Not the happiest thing, but ya know.**

**Reid and Review!**

**~MyDarkAngel710**


	4. Choice

**The entire team is kind of in a state of shock. I'm going to take this moment to runawaya, so no real disclaimer. You'll understand once you read...**

**I do not own Criminal Minds.**

* * *

_What if…_

_There had been two possible locations of cemeteries when the team was searching for Reid?_

_What if…_

_The team had to make a simple…_

Choice

* * *

"We only have time to get to one house." Hotch strode quickly to the black SUV.

"We could split up," Morgan pointed out as he went to his own SUV.

"That's not a good idea. We don't know what Hankel has at his disposal and splitting up does not seem to be doing any good for us," Hotch pointedly looked back at the house where Gideon and JJ were walking out.

"I had Garcia forward the GPS locations of both cemeteries to all of our PDAs," Prentiss said as she trotted up. She hesitated. "Which one are we going to?"

For a few precious seconds, the team simple stood. No one wanted to make the decision that could mean the difference between life and death.

"The second one. Let's go to the second one."

Without questioning the choice, the team rushed to their respective cars and sped into the night

* * *

With a swirl of dust, the team and a handful of squad cars pulled into the front yard of the dark cabin. The blue and red lights danced on the siding.

Morgan was the first out and to the door. He had kicked it in before any back-up could join him.

Hotch, Gideon, and Prentiss jogged to the door, guns drawn and flashlights on. They were prepared to fight for their friend's life. Prepared to take a life if necessary.

"Morgan?" Hotch called ahead.

There was no answer.

"Morgan?" Hotch called again, whipping in front of the doorframe.

His flashlight fell on Morgan's back. His arms hung at his sides, and his head was bent.

"What's wrong?" Gideon asked as he reached Hotch.

"We went to the wrong house," Morgan said, not turning around. "We went to the wrong house!" Without warning, Morgan kicked a dusty chair and sent it flying into the darkness of the room. A loud bang echoed in the silence.

Another precious few seconds lost.

"Come on." Morgan whipped around and shouldered his way through the growing throng of police officers. "We're going to the other location!" Morgan yelled. No one moved. "NOW!" Immediately, the officers scrambled back to their squad cars and started their engines.

"Morgan-"

"Don't, Hotch." Morgan shook away Hotch's warning. "We're going to save him. We need to go. Now."

Hotch studied Morgan.

Another few seconds.

"Alright," he nodded.

* * *

Another cabin. Another swirl of dust. Another pattern of dancing lights.

This was the right cabin.

The chair was there. Empty. The handcuffs on the seat.

The camera and computers were set up. Were they broadcasting? Could Garcia see them right now? No time for that.

The team, followed by the officers, rushed through the woods towards the cemetery.

No talking. No yelling. Just listening.

They rounded a hedge, their flashlights bouncing off the rustling leaves, and there he was.

Someone was kneeling, someone was standing. They had made it. They were in time.

Then the gunshot sounded.

"REID!" Morgan cried as he fired his own weapon three times into the standing man.

The man staggered, dropped his weapon, pivoted toward the team, then collapsed to the ground.

The kneeler had fallen backward long ago.

Hotch sprinted toward the shapes before Morgan had the chance to lower his weapon.

It felt to Hotch as if he was moving through jelly. The cemetery elongating before him.

Finally, he reached the kneeler's side. Reid's side.

"Reid, Reid. Reid," Hotch knelt beside his team member, quickly assessing the damage done. The shot was through his chest. His sweater was covered in blood. "Reid, stay with me. We need the paramedics here!" Hotch ordered as calmly as he could. The nearest officer ran back toward the cabin and the waiting ambulance.

"Hotch?" a weak voice asked.

"Reid?" Hotch's heart skipped a beat, though nothing on his face showed.

Reid coughed up blood, then managed a smile. "I knew you'd understand."

Hotch was speechless, and he couldn't hold back the tears that formed in his eyes. His voice was steady, though. "Reid, we're going to get you help." Hotch looked up as Prentiss reached them.

She stopped, still a few feet away, mouth moving and no sound coming out.

The rest of the team wasn't far behind.

"Hotch, wha-…oh no, kid." Morgan's arms hung limply at his side.

"Where… is… everyone?" Reid managed to say, gasping for breath.

Gideon knelt on the opposite side of Hotch. "Spencer, we're all here."

"Oh." Reid's quizzical expression was morphed into one of pain.

"Don't talk, kid," Morgan said, joining Hotch on the ground.

Reid's breathing was getting harder.

"Where's the medics?" Prentiss cried, breaking her silence.

Right on cue, but perhaps too late, the paramedics ran up with a stretcher.

"All right, Reid. Help's here." Hotch, Gideon, and Morgan helped move Reid to the stretcher.

The paramedics were moving away when JJ ran to Reid's side. She had been frozen ever since the gunshot.

"Spence, I'm so sorry." Tears were running down her face.

"It's not your fault."

The last words Dr. Spencer Reid ever said. And he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

The team stood staring after their friend. They all knew he wouldn't make it. Years of experience at their job made it impossible for them to ignore the truth.

Prentiss hugged JJ and they both cried. JJ with open sobs and Prentiss silently.

Morgan ran his hands over his head and his teeth clenched as he fought back his desire to punch something and scream.

Gideon, with tear stained face, put his hands on Morgan's shoulders and forced him to look him in the eye. A silent okay to let go.

Hotch sat on the ground and put his head in his hands.

All of them were thinking of those lost seconds. Added together, would they have been enough time to save their team member and friends?

What if…

They had figured out Reid's clues sooner.

What if…

They had skipped the cabin and come straight to the cemetery.

What if…

JJ had picked the right cemetery to go to first.

* * *

**Hello Reiders!**

**I can't help it, I've got it out for Reid even though I love him.**

**I hope you enjoyed this even though it was sad.**

**Please Please Please Reid and Review! I can't get better unless you do **

**~MyDarkAngel710**


	5. Call

**Me: hmmmm… JJ? No. Hotch? Nothing good comes to mind at the moment. Morgan always has possibilities…**

**(Garcia appears behind me, ready to kill.)**

**Me: Okay, no Morgan. Garcia?**

**(I sense looming presence behind me in Morgan's general direction)**

**Me: Did I say Garcia? I meant Prentiss is an option.**

**(Awkward Silence)**

**Me: Alright, that still hurts. We'll steer clear. (Looks Around) Where's Reid?**

**Morgan: He went to get JJ a glass of water.**

**Me: Since he's not here to defend himself….**

**Reid (From Kitchen): What's going on?**

**Me: Nothing!**

**I don't own Criminal Minds**

* * *

_What if…_

_He had tried?_

_What if…_

_He made a simple…_

Call

* * *

It had been one week. One long week on a case involving a missing teenage boy. It had been tough. Touch and go most of the time. Yet his mind had been unable to focus.

One long week, and still, all he could think about was her.

There was only one person he could trust to confide in that could get him the information and keep a secret.

"Hello, Garcia," Reid said as he awkwardly sidled into the room.

"Oh, Geek Puppy!" Garcia smiled, swirling around in her chair to face him.

"Um, Geek… Puppy?" Reid's brow furrowed. Lights from the monitors behind Garcia gave her an almost ethereal glow.

"Geek Puppy," Garcia chirped.

"Ok then." An awkward silence as Reid tried to think of how to phrase the question.

Garcia tilted her head to one side. "Do you have a reason to invade my lair?"

"Uh, you know if you spend too much time in front of those monitors you could get headaches, eye pain, dizziness, nausea-"

"Don't tell me you came here to woe me with your romantic facts, sugar lips. Tell me why you're really here."

"Well, uh, actually I'm here because, uh, I've been doing a lot of thinking about, um." Reid swallowed. "I was wondering if you could look up someone for me."

Garcia narrowed her eyes and her lips curled at the corners in a teasing smile. "Someone? I'm going to need a name for this 'someone'."

Reid rubbed a hand on the back of his neck and checked behind him to make sure no one else was there. "Lila. Archer. Lila Archer. She lives in L.A."

"The one and only Lila Archer?" Garcia's eyebrows raised. "Don't worry," Garcia stopped Reid's stammering excuse. "I understand, Mystery Man. I read tabloids, too." She spun back to her many screens. "I'm guessing you will want a secure line that goes directly to Lila, no middleman."

"That would be nice."

"Don't worry, Romeo. I'll find your Juliet." Fingers flying, Garcia opened and closed windows faster than Reid could read the website. Suddenly the clicking stopped. "Bingo."

* * *

"Hi, this is Lila Archer. Please leave a message."

Reid waited nervously for the beep. This was his fourteenth time calling. _Well, the last time doesn't count for a full call because I hung up before the voicemail came up,_ he reasoned with himself. So it was his thirteenth and a half time calling. And he still had no idea what to say.

The tone sounded and Reid swallowed. _I hope that wasn't audible_. "Hey, uh, Lila, it's uh, Spencer. Spencer Reid. I was wondering if you wanted to, um, meet up somewhere, uh, if that was okay. We have a case that's taking us out that way, so I can, um, find you… No! Not in that way, I mean, find you if you wanted to meet up, a-" The beep silenced Reid's too long message. _What did I just do?_ he berated himself. The team wasn't going to California. At least, not yet. There was a briefing in an hour where they would decide whether to go to Palm Springs, California, or Jacksonville, Florida. There was only one option, rig the briefing. If she called. If she didn't call, he wouldn't worry about it.

* * *

One hour, two minutes, and forty-six seconds later, Reid was running late for the briefing, and running out of excuses to stay out of the conference room.

_Come on, Lila, come on._ Who was he kidding? Lila was a star, and Reid was…

His phone rang. Heart racing, he snapped it open, took a deep breath, and said hello.

"Reid, whatcha doin' down there? We're ready to start."

Reid looked up at the conference room window where Morgan was staring down at him.

"I'm on my way up." There was a beep on his phone. "I just have another call to take care of." With little hope, he clicked over. "Reid."

"Hi, Spencer? It's Lila."

"Oh! Hi!" Reid scrambled to stand up, knocking over his coffee in the process and spilling it all over his cluttered desk. "Um, h-how are you?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Great. Just great." Reid looked up at the conference room where Morgan was still watching. Reid waved Morgan away, signaling that the team could continue the meeting without him. Morgan shook his head but turned away. "You, uh, got my message?"

Lila laughed. A sound he had missed. "Yes, and all fifteen missed calls."

"Fourteen and a half," Reid defended. "I didn't make it to your voice box one time."

Again, that beutiful laugh. "So… you wanted to meet up?" Lila asked.

* * *

So what if the team had decided to go to Jacksonville? Reid could catch a plane after the case to L.A. to visit Lila, then fly to the next case. If questioned, he could just tell the team he was visiting his mom. No need to alert anyone to his possible romance.

It would work.

It would work.

And maybe in a few months, if Lila and him stayed together, he would tell the team. Morgan would pat him on the back with a 'you go man' and Prentiss and JJ would each give him a hug. It would be nice.

But that was in the far off future.

For now, Reid could look forward to next weekend, when

he would meet a beautiful girl,

at a small diner,

on the outskirts of L.A.

and afterwards,

maybe, just maybe,

he would get a return

call.

* * *

**Hello, Reiders! :-D**

**Awwww, isn't that a cute idea? A little secret romance for Reid? And look! No one got hurt! Or killed! Isn't it great? Quite a change for me, actually.**

**I hope you liked it. Again, this are just short one shots. I'm not going to write a story about a Reid and Lila romance, even though it would be adorable. I'm not nearly romantic enough.**

**Hope you liked this!**

**Reid and Review!**

**~MyDarkAngel710**


End file.
